I discovered something tonight. Book clubs aren't about books. They're simply called book clubs so your husband thinks you are doing something important and intelligent and will willingly watch the kid for you while you go out and gossip with a bunch of other women.
Tonight I attended my first book club meeting. I read the book two weeks ago and was nervous that I'd already forgotten everything. I even started to reread the book so it would be fresh in my mind when I went to book club tonight (though I got distracted by other things and didn't get very far in my rereading).
Then I went to book club. On time even. Okay, three minutes early. Half an hour later, enough people were there that they finally mentioned the book for a minute. Twenty minutes after that, we discussed the book for maybe five minutes.
I don't know what I was expecting. Okay, I do know. I was expecting the person in charge to have a list of deep, intellectual questions to facilitate discussion. I was expecting well thought out responses from people who knew a thing or two about literature. Basically, I expected a grad school literature class with more interesting books.
I'm considering not even reading the book for next month's book club, but then going anyway.
Has anyone else ever been to a book club? Is this what they're all like? When I came home and told Brandon of my disappointment, he was surprised that I'd expected so much from book club. Apparently, his opinion of what book club is is exactly what I went to tonight.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Book Club
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9 comments:
Well I would go to one in Baltimore. It was a mix between your expectation and your reality. It depended on who was facilitating the discussion that month. Though I often felt we were just trying to get through talking about the book so we could eat treats (and these women went all out) and chat. It wasn't quite as intellectual or deep as I wanted it to be, but it was pretty good.
So at least you got out for a night. I always say that's a good thing from time to time.
I've been in several and it completely depends on the group. If the women expect to spend most of their time socializing, that's what will happen. If people are really interested in talking about the book, you'll have a great discussion.
The next time they brainstorm for suggestions, try throwing out a few that are bound to bring up discussion. "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" is a great one as is "The Ladies Auxiliary" if your group is LDS.
I get you on feeling like you wasted your time. I really miss my book group in Boston and haven't been able to bring myself to risk wasting an evening on a sub-par group here.
Good luck!
So it wasn't post-grad English major level conversation, but it was better than staying home watching American Idol, (which I'm boycotting this year) don't you think?
The book club I went to there wasn't any talking really at all. About the book or anything. I did the same thing you did. I read the book twice so I could be sure to have lots to talk about. I only went one more time after my first meeting. It was not really what I was expecting either. Maybe you could suggest having it at your house next time and show 'em what it's all about.
I agree with Mia, it depends on who the other women in the group are, and what they want (socializing or good intellectual conversation). I've found that when I join book groups that already formed, they're more about socializing. But the one time I started a group with friends, it was more my style, a bit more studious and focused on the book. Maybe make an effort to start your own if you really want the intellectual discussion?
Speaking of books…
Seven and a half years ago you wanted to write a commentary on Mormon culture that would address some problematic aspects of young Mormon romance. I was then unwilling to provide you with some material you requested for that project. For that I (finally) apologize. I am now ready to contribute. The story of my marriage is an interesting commentary on this aspect of Mormon culture in and of itself – not only its beginnings, and its duration, but its end as well. As if it wasn’t compelling enough, its addition to the story that preceded it makes it all that much more interesting. I don’t mean to be so cryptic… I asked for your email in the last set of posts, and figured you either didn’t see it, or ignored it out of dread… You probably have enough to worry about in your own life, you don’t need emotional ghosts from the past to deal with… I only thought of you when my current circumstances made me think that someone should write a book about this. If you were still planning on taking on such a project, I am now willing to contribute. I’m sorry for not being willing to then (and for other things) and sorry for intruding into your life now. The cliché ‘better late than never’ can apply to my apology and to my new willingness to contribute to that project. (My email address is in my profile.)
This is so funny. I went through exactly the same thing. I think I expected the book club to be similar to my discussions in English classes. You graduated in English, didn't you? Maybe that's why our expectations were similar. I showed up at the book club, and all they said was, "it was so cute when...", "wasn't it funny when....", etc, etc. And then it turned into a big gab fest. That's not always bad, I was just disappointed in how it went. I hosted one at my house hoping to have a little more control over the discussion, and two people showed up. Both were quick to tell me they hated the book, and the discussion on it ended in a couple of minutes. I have given up on book clubs. We should have our own - the English Majors' Book Club. Oh wait, that's called college, isn't it? :)
I always thought it would be fun to join a book club, but was too afraid because I never had time to read the book. I'm a little disappointed that they're not really about the book, I'm sure it all depends on whose in charge. Anyway, we miss you guys tons. We're coming back for graduation so we'll have to get together.
I went to a book club with a friend when I visited Ohio for work. Because of the time socializing, they only had a short time for deep discussion, though they did attempt to bring out further meanings within the books. The club was based on just on children's books (which made it a little more interesting to me and easier to figure out since I had not read the book) but the metaphores and symbols they had time to discuss were still deep.
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