Tuesday, September 4, 2007

A rose by any other name

Right after I first got married, my mom and I went to the bookstore and bought a bunch of baby name books. We did it under the pretense that they were for school (it helps to have a big book of names when making up stories). Really, I think it was because my sister was pregnant at the time and we didn't like her choice in baby names. Actually, I don't think we knew yet that she was pregnant, but still weren't excited about the names she was planning for her future babies.

We bought this one book called What Not to Name Your Baby mainly because it had the name Agnes in it. Under the name Agnes it reads, "Old and wrinkly one. Along with Zelpha and Vera, a name that should not have been used after the nineteenth century." Anyone who has met my niece Agnes knows that this isn't true at all. She is one of the most adorable little girls in the world. Even if you think the name Agnes is ugly, she makes it so super cute. It's hard to picture her with any other name.

Well, I was looking at the book the other day and it pretty much has my child's full name in it. Granted, it doesn't have Collinwood, but it comes pretty close.

CALEB -- Biblical, yes, but in this day and age, very soap opera-ish. Also, a waxy chocolate substitute.

BENJAMIN -- Action of Rastafarian after inhaling the sensimilla.

COLIN (notice the spelling isn't quite the same, but the pronunciation is according to this book) -- A cancer-prone part of the body near the rectum made famous by Katie Couric.

WOODY -- (okay, I don't think I actually need to type the guy's reasoning on why this one makes a bad name for a child.)

Oh well. Too late now. Although at least I didn't name my baby Lemonjello or Orangejello.

2 comments:

Barbour said...

Let me know if our kids names are in the book and what it says
Linden Tyler
Taylor Keith
Teak

Karen & Co. said...

Nope. None of them. You must be way better at naming your kids than I am. Although, I am considering only naming my children names that are in the book from here on out...